Top-Rated Grief Counselling Vancouver

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Grief Counselling in BC FAQs

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What support is available to someone who is grieving?

There are many different types of support services that are available to those who are grieving. For instance, you can connect with your local hospice society if you’ve recently lost a loved one. If you’ve been diagnosed with a chronic condition, you can connect with the provincial or local organization that serves and supports others with the same diagnosis. You might also want to connect with a bereavement counsellor, like one of our counsellors, to create individual space for you to process the loss or changes that you have experienced.

 

Is bereavement the same as grief? 

Bereavement, grief, loss, mourning are states that all fall under the same umbrella: feelings of sadness. Grief is often referred to as the emotional state that comes directly after a physical loss (such as a death) or a social/symbolic loss (such as losing a job or getting a divorce). Bereavement, on the other hand, is known to be the state of, or period of, time in which people grieve their loss. Bereavement can be shorter or longer depending on the individual and the type of loss. 

 

Does grief last forever?

Not necessarily. It really depends on the individual’s perceptions of loss and their ability to reimagine their life after a loss. For some, grief comes in a package (small or big) and they are able to acknowledge the package, what it contains and put it on an imaginary shelf that stores other packages that have been ‘dealt with’ and which doesn’t need revisiting unless in special circumstances. For others, grief can be a process of acknowledgement and then learning to move forward in life with the loss. For these individuals, it’s like wearing a new piece of jewelry. At first the piece may not be comfortable, but other times there is an adjustment that happens and the piece is barely noticeable. In this case, grief may last forever, but its discomfort subsides over time as individuals learn to live with the experience of loss and change their perceptions of it.

 

How do you stop grieving?

There are so many strategies that an individual can use to stop grieving. As a Vancouver bereavement counsellor who works from an emotionally focused place, I believe that in order to move forward with a loss individuals will need to:

1. Slow their mind and body down. Move away from the storyline in your head. Use a calming or grounding strategy to slow down, such as deep slow breathing X 5, Butterfly Hug, 54321 grounding, movement (walking, swaying, rocking, standing).

2. Close your eyes and mentally scan your entire body. Take note of what you notice. What physical sensations in your body do you become aware of?

3. Name the core emotion(s) (fear, sadness, anger, disgust, joy, excitement, sexual excitement) that is associated with the physical sensations that you’ve noticed.

4. Describe the core emotion(s). When you sit with the physical sensations in your body and name which core emotion(s) the sensations are, can you then describe what the emotions are about? For instance, you might be feeling grossed out about a colleague’s advances or feeling happy to be snuggling with your cat. 

5. Breathe deeply into your stomach to help move through the emotion(s). The physical sensations will stop when the energy is released. Stay with it; keep breathing. We can't think our way out of emotions because they are embodied experiences. 

 

What does grief do to your body?

Grief can do many things to your body, especially if you do not learn to name and feel the emotions of the loss. Some common ways that grief might show up in the body are: heaviness, fatigue, loss of concentration, low motivation, depression, crying, irritation, anger, lack of or too much sleep, loss or increase in appetite and much more. If you notice such experiences, there is a way out. Talking to a bereavement counsellor, like me, can get you unstuck and feeling better.

 

What is considered the final stage of grief?

I'm uncertain whether a final stage of grief actually exists. Saying that someone can arrive at the last or final stage of grief sounds too rigid and dismissing of other life experiences that might influence whether or not someone’s loss is resurfaced. What I am certain of though is an individual’s ability to move forward with experiences of loss. The ability to hold and carry the loss with compassion is the final stage in my mind. It may not heal or resolve it completely, but it does soften the loss - making it less distressing and more tolerable.

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Is a grief counsellor the same as a therapist?

A grief counsellor is a type of mental health professional with specialized training or experience in supporting people through grief. A grief counsellor (also called a bereavement counsellor) may be a registered clinical counsellor, registered professional counsellor, or registered psychologist.

Some people may also seek support from a certified life coach. A life coach isn't a mental health professional, but may still offer one-on-one support (or even group grief support) for people experiencing grief.

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Choosing the right support:

• If you're experiencing intense grief that significantly impacts your daily life (such as in the case of complicated grief), a grief counselor or therapist might be a better fit.

• If you're looking for practical guidance and support in moving forward after a loss, a life coach could be an option.

 

Seeking support for grief is a highly personal decision. Ultimately, the choice is up to you. If you'd like to explore whether we're the right fit, we invite you to reach out.

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